Today's the day! Brianna and I have been planning the menu for days, not that it takes too much thought. We're pretty traditional. We know what we like. Normally she's just in it for the turkey but this year she's asked for cheesy mashed potatoes and corn. Okay with me. We had breakfast together, then Dave put his famous orange turkey together and in to cook for it's 5 hours.
Brianna and I will plan our Black Friday journey. We go out at 5 am to Walmart and KMart, then breakfast at Panara. Then sleep all day.
Memories of the past - Mother put the turkey on early, Dad took me to a park. We'd feed the ducks, he'd take pictures, I'd have to go to the bathroom so he'd hold me over a hidden pile of leaves in the woods. I always had to go to the bathroom. Dinner was a big deal. Brother would put away prodigious amounts of food, sister was always serene, I was the wild card - didn't eat much, didn't like side dishes, was too ADHD to do well in a group, I'd get feisty, knock something over. Mother never seemed to mind. To her, that was life in a loving family. We were who we were.
Dinners at Granny's house or Aunt Jess's - quiet, dark houses, 'be on your best behavior Martha Jeanne', foods that I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, knick knacks that drove my mother insane that I might decided to play with them and break them, fragile, formal dishes and heavy silverware, linen cloth and napkins, paper thin aperitif glasses always full of crandberry juice which was yucky. BUT - in a circle of people who loved me, had some special treats for me, told wonderful stories about the Old Country. I was part of something bigger than I.
As a young married, dinner at David's house, Thanksgiving was also his mother's birthday, I was assigned a seat next to Aunt Kate who was the relative who was 'difficult' to them (I liked her) and Dave's father, an old Navy man. First I got my finger stuck in the tiny handle of a teacup, He looked at me and said, "What's the matter with you?" and yanked my finger out. Then Jan told me the dishes belonged to her grandmother and 'not a piece has been broken'. Gulp. Then, Art would carve at the table and give you the piece he wanted you to have, not the piece I wanted and he put it on my plate with these words from the military, "Take what you want, but eat what you take." Gulp again. When the kids came along it was my Granny's house all over again - stressed that someone would break something.
There was the year we decided not to go to their house and to make our own. I have a photo of my mother and I holding that turkey and smiling. It's one of my favorite pictures.
I find myself very thankful this year for all the usual things. But in particular, for the worst event that happened to me in the last three years. I've finally gotten to the point where I can see the reason and thank God for it. Yay! 3 years ago I walked into a restaurant in November, slipped and sprained hip, arm, leg and foot. I had to retire from my career, use a cane or walker for a year, go through a prolonged and nasty lawsuit, lose our life savings. We went from okay, to barely squeaking by. Had a breakdown.
2012 - Ah!! I see. The settlement, although small and not at all what I thought it would be, is a nice nest egg, and emergency fund for disasters. And we've had them. I hadn't realized then that I was really at the end of my career. Times change, especially in education and I wasn't up to rolling with them. I have a job now as substitute special ed assistant that lets me be home when I need to be, and when I'm working, it's terrific. I love the kids and have met some superlative teachers. The money isn't much but it buys food and emergencies. And I'm home for Brianna, otherwise she wouldn't be able to join any teams at school.
So I'm thankful for enlightenment most of all.
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