I come from a fundamentalist background, ultra conservative, uber evangelical. It's never sat well with me. Even as a child I had questions and doubts but heaven help the kid who expressed them! As an adult in a traditional church I also had doubts that what I was hearing was the whole truth. But by then the church's value to me was confidence building. I was Mistress of the Church - baptism hostess, kitchen worker, bereavement committee, VBS director, banquet head and all around background detail person. It was easy to ignore the restless whispers in my head that were telling me how off base some of the traditional doctrines were.
In the late 90s my life fell apart. A series of misfortunes, including the pastor from hell, pushed me to the edge of suicide. I came to hate God for allowing the pain. "Donald Trump is a better father than God! He takes care of his children!" It was a very dark time in my life. And the church's pastoral counselor didn't help when he insisted on reading me Bible passages and telling me what I should feel.
At that time, my job was falling apart as well. Dear friends/colleagues were jumping ship. Gerri was my angel and before she left she insisted that I come to her church's women's retreat at a christian resort on the Chesapeake. Yeah, yeah... but she was paying so what the heck. Free weekend away from the husband and children.
First, the Chesapeake is gorgeous. I wasn't prepared for the beauty of it. The resort sits right on the bay with all the smells, sounds and colors one would expect from a movie. You get to the place through a tiny town with quaint, tourist shops, and then along a winding dirt road through a forest.
Secondly, our room was really nice, not the typical hotel room, especially not a christian hotel room. The place had a pool, hot tub, snack bar, thrift shop and private chapel.
We were just in time for the first meeting of the afternoon and our clique got on the elevator to the conference floor. As we got off a young blond woman came striding down the hall with the most beatific smile. "Hurry and get there! The worship is fine!" she said as if talking about a day at the shore. And the worship was fine. I thought I knew what worship was - stodgy, staid, boring songs and windbag testimonies. But this was different. The songs were rocking, the women on their feet, shouting all manner of things from Amen, to Yes Lord to WhaaHoo! Arms in the air, dancing, swaying. I was in love. I was absorbed into groups of women like an amoeba. That weekend I became a Calvary girl.
Fifteen years later, I'm still a Calvary girl. And this is why -
- the same people sit in the same places in this cavernous room, so you know a lot of people by sight and that's okay because you talk to them as if you know them but it doesn't involve an investment in people you might or might not want to hang with.
- it's big enough (2500 a service x 3) that if you want to be known you can be, if you don't want to be known you don't have to be.
- it isn't embarrassing. I can safely invite anybody of any class, gender identity, religion or lack of and know they'll probably have a good time.
- the music rocks.
- it has a support group for everyone - new christians, medical, war vets, pornography addicts, regular addicts, gamblers, Russians and Spanish, divorced adults and kids, bereavement and on and on.
- everything they do is done well. The bathrooms are beautiful, original art work on the walls, a bride's section with private changing room, bathroom and make up mirror. All repairs are done immediately so there's no wreckage to look at. Programs are planned for maximum organization.
- there's a bookstore.
- if you liked a song they'll copy the words for you.
- security is highly organized and secret. Children couldn't be safer in the building. I once saw an Adam Code when a child was missing from the room. Men and women rushed to the doors and locked them. Another team swept through the sunday school rooms. She was found in her brother's room. On the anniversary of 9/11 friendly security people were posted on every hallway. I know some of them carry weapons. The pastor has a body guard, very low key and it's sad that Joe needs one but that's life.
- we get to call our pastor Joe because he's just a guy who does his job well, not a demi god.
- if you're upset and cry you get a half dozen people with their hands on you praying.
- if you go out and sit in the lobby during the service, which I like to do, you see and hear the most interesting people! One guy was on drugs and he sat right next to me to talk about it. One guy was telling his friend how he married a young girl and he didn't want children but she deserved at least one so what the heck. One guy was calling his mother to tell her he had gotten engaged. Thanks - over the phone from the church lobby.
So if you want to go and check out Calvary Chapel, call me. I guarantee you'll like it whether or not you agree with the message.
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